Major Project: Draft 3 edits

Having finished my 3rd draft of the script I have made a few changes regarding scenes, back stories and being more fucked up.

A few of the scenes in draft 2 have been moved around and/or deleted, for example I have now gotten rid of the first scene where we see Toby in his house and replaced it with Toby sitting with Elsie in Marco's cafe, this is now the first time we see Toby as an adult.

As I have said in previous blogs I am now trying to include a moment of Toby's life in each episode (preferably at the start). The starting scene in this episode is taking place at a parents evening where Toby and his father experience a very awkward situation which ends up with Toby's father telling teachers, parents and their children to fuck off. This scene gives Toby more of an in-depth back story compared to draft two as we get to see who Toby's father really is (a crazy person) and how he influenced Toby's life, making him the way he is now.

For Bobbers there is sort of a back story for him at the end but it is not made entirely clear to the viewer. The reason I have done this is because I really want to put Bobbers' back story at the end of the series as the last two episodes start to show conflict between Bobbers and Toby, when Bobbers reaches his lowest point that's where he tells his story.

I have also tried to make the script more fucked up, these more fucked up scene do make the script funnier and my motive for writing these scenes are to make the viewer think "What the fuck is he doing?!" or "What the hell is going on here" In terms of being more fucked up, I have made Toby's dad more of a psychopath, the scenes with him in are generally more messed up. Even when we hear from Elsie what their father did, the impression that you will get from him should be "how is this guy allowed to have children?!" for example Toby's dad punched a deer to death infront of his children's faces, tried to teach dogs to sing, through shit filled shoes from orphans and eventually died in the Cobra Pit at the zoo where he tried to find a good belt (Marks and Spencers just didn't do it for him).